The Insane Hamster that Had a Pink Cape

There once was an insane hamster. His name was Macaroni. He loved to adventure the outside world. Many years ago he escaped from the crazy house that he was placed in because he had multiple personalities. The personality that got Macaroni locked up called himself Monster and was a cereal killer. Monster would kill cereal. He got into the boxed and pooped and peed all over the cereal and make it disgusting and never able to fulfill its life purpose. So the cereal would be thrown away and died a slow and painful and depressing death, of doom. Monster would always wear his pink cape and clown shoes. Since Macaroni escaped he was always having arguments with Monster. For a while they lived in a box outside of Walmart. they chewed on the tired of the parked cars, and had hobo parties in the shopping cart areas, and smoked the garbage from the nearby dumpster. One day Monster got loose from his mental prison and got control of Macaroni's little hamster body and jumped into the sewer. BUT it was a radioactive sewer so Monster grew 20 feet tall and ripped the roof off of Walmart and filled the store, especially the cereal isle, with pee. The poor people shopping inside drowned and it was horrible and disgusting. Monster started laughing hysterically, he laughed so hard he had a heart attack. He was cremated with his pink cape.  Then Macaroni came back as an insane vampire monster hamster. He ate all of the cheese, and everyone was sad. so they sent the awesome flying gangster angry badger pirate to kill him. There was a spectacular battle with explosions, and dance contests, and bathroom breaks, and swords, and ninja-ing, and reading books by the fire, and making smores, and rapping, and eventually the awesome flying gangster angry badger pirate won the fight and he partied like poptart, because he was awesome like that.
yeah....the end

Ooga Booga

There once was a flamingo named Ooga who hated the color pink. Because she was still just a baby flamingo she was still gray, but she was extremely depressed because she would be pink soon. So she went on an adventure to find the great and powerful Green flamingo named George. She made many friends with green creatures on the way hoping it would bring luck, like frogs, and snakes, and other things that she eventually ate. So she grew lonely, and made friends with a purple monkey. Ooga decided that green friends are all edible so she would make friends with others, but the monkey was always throwing spoons at people. And Ooga would be blamed. So she went to the ninja lord to learn how to defeat the monkey. She learned that she was still too young to defeat a monkey with spoons. So she sneaky sneakied away from the monkey and vowed that someday, when she was neither gray or pink, that she would defeat him. So eventually she found the magical Genie of the Lamp and wished to be wherever the great and powerful George was. Then all of a sudden she was in a kayak made out of penguins in a lake of coffee. The Great and Powerful George was putting sugar in the lake and drinking it. Ooga awkwardly sneaked up on him and yelled BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA! and scared the green out of the Great and Powerful George. Now he was just George the pale and slightly pink flamingo. She stole the Green Magicalness and rolled in it. Ooga was now Green and All Powerful. She then went to the Brevard zoo and laughed at all of the pink flamingos because they were so pink and normal. She turned all of the water in the zoo into starbucks mocha frappacino and laughed when all of the humans wanted to drink it but were trampled by all of the animals. But when Ooga was all hyper crazy from lots of sugary coffee drink, one of her old friends started yelling for her to talk, OOGA OOGA OOGA!!!!!!!!! And the Green magicalness was scared out of ooga and she cried because she was now pink, and became depressed. And her friend laughed because she was pink... and normal, then everyone in the zoo, animals and humans, cried because Ooga could no longer turn the water into coffee drink and all of the green was magic-less and gross now. So it never happened again, until Ooga burped up one of the frogs that she had eaten. It had stolen all of the magic from the green-ness and hopped away to his cute little froggy home. Ooga then remembered that she had to fight the monkey with spoons so she finished the coffee drink and grabbed a pencil and an empty paper towel roll. She flew all the way to the monkey that throws spoons and threw a pencil at him to distract him and he was totallyt afriad and then she hit him on the head with the paper towel roll several times and they had a sword like fight with spoons and paper towel rolls and they both died of starvation because they were both lunatics that had problems and needed to see the cherry flavored poptart psychologist. I think they were on drugs. But that is why people say Ooga Booga Booga. Because Ooga, Booga Boogaing made George loose his green magic, and who wouldn't want to scare green colored magic out of other people or things so yeah... or something like that.

THE END

Flying Gangster Angry Badger Pirate that is Awesome

Once upon a time, there was an angry badger. The poor little angry badger was addicted to corn. But he was awesome and gangster, and all of the other badger creatures were jealous. So they kicked him out of a window, and the awesome gangster angry badger learned how to fly. While he was flying through the sky he met a squirrel. As we all know, Squirrels are evil and deserve to die, so the awesome gangster angry badger jumped on the squirrel in mid air and made the squirrel fall to his death where he would suffer for eternities of listening to  country music, while the badger flew away laughing because it was funny and the squirrel totally deserved it. The badger later landed on a pirate ship and automatically became the captain because a Flying Gangster Angry Badger Pirate is just that awesome. It was a really big boat, made out of gingerbread and fruit cake. Angry badger thought it was delicious. All of the pirates drowned, except for the Awesome Flying Gangster Angry Badger Pirate, because he could fly away. He flew all the way to walmart and bought some pink flip flops. They were badgertastic!!!!  so he bought some flip flops and walked out of walmart with his awesome flying gangster angry badger pirate swagger and his pants on the ground. He stepped in dog crap. It was really stinky. He hunted down the dog that had committed such a horrible act to poo in the path of the Awesome flying Gangster angry badger pirate. The dog was adorable and loved to eat badgers. So he laid a trap for the awesome flying gangster angry badger pirate by making a trail of corn to a cage that was super strong and equally as awesome as the awesome flying gangster angry badger pirate. Badger thing was captured and given to the dog's owner who thought it was the cutest thing in the world. The dog laughed because he was actually an evil puppy of cuteness and was planning to break the owner child's heart by eating the awesome flying gangster angry badger pirate while the owner child watched. muahahahahahahahahahah! >:) and so that all happened and the owner child cried for weeks and the puppy used his cuteness to get away with it and the awesome flying gangster angry badger pirate's legacy lives on in this story and in the evil puppy of cuteness's belly.

THE END

Magic Poptarts and Cursed Corn

Once upon a time, there was a poptart. It was a very, very, very old poptart. It had turned from tan with blue icing, to green with black icing. Even though it was very, very, very old, this poptart was magical and weird. The person who owned this poptart was stupid and insignificant so he shall be called Ant for the moment. Ant was stupid, but it was not his fault, he just didn't pay attention during his listening to food talk their weird language class, so he didn't hear the poptarts gossiping about the magical poptart. So Ant found the green and black poptart and threw it in the garbage. As everyone should know, disposing of magical food items in the trash is wrong and you shall be burned at the stake for such a heinous crime. The proper way to dispose of such a disgustingly amazing thing is with fire, because fire is awesome. But whatever, Ant was stupid and threw the poptart in the trash where it went to the dump. A Hobo, that we will call Frank, was hanging out at the dump and found the beautiful but weirdly colored poptart, and he ate it. The magic poptart then bestowed upon Frank the majesty of a "Glampire", similar to those creepy "vampires" from that one series. He glittered through the town in his awesome hobo clothes, and all of the soccer moms fawned over Frank and gave him lots of money. Frank took his money and went to Krispy Kremes and bought some delicious fresh doughnuts, because he had only ever had dump doughnuts. But then he became fat and no one liked him anymore, so the magic poptart that was still in his belly gave him wings and he flew to Australia and befriended the Kangaroos. They danced and frolicked and played. The koalas became jealous of Frank and the Kangaroos. So they gave Frank some corn, Frank accepted the corn in hopes to be friends with the Koalas. But the corn was cursed and gave Frank the hobo glampire with wings, fish arms. They stank horribly and it ruined his dreams of being a hobo guitar player on the streets, because he no longer had any fingers. Having fish arms also made it very hard for him to cook. Anytime he would get near hot cooking things like ovens, fires, stoves, boiling water and stuff, his arms would begin to cook and the cats would smell. The cats chewed on his arms evilly. So all of Frank's dreams of being awesome were destroyed. So he decided to learn to play hopscotch with his kangaroo buddies. But his Kangaroo buddies were embarrassed to be near such an obvious hobo glampire with wings and fish arms retard, because he accepted corn from the Koalas. So they shunned him. Frank fell into misery, and a river of rootbeer, he drowned in happy rootbeer when the koalas started throwing garlic at him. THE END